Love is the first enemy of Friendship, and marriage is Second ;)

Hmm yet another time I pick up a subject which my friends wanted to know my opinion of.
And now I realize how blogging is still keeping us abreast with the lovely discussions which we might have had, had we been staying together.

As per the subject, I don't really want to hurt the neutral reader, but I'd also like to please the person who asked me to write this, and the gang which appreciates this talk.
Before really getting on to the subject, let me give you an account of how friendships fare in the long run. I've been experiencing this from long time, and hope everybody else do. We find a few friends in our colleges whom we share a lot of time with. Even better if we get to live with the same set of people after the college while we work. Now what happens is, since we all have individual goals, responsibilities, and of course priorities, we decide to move on. At each such juncture, one of our friends moves out in finding peace with the priorities he has, and we got to live with that. This could happen time and again, more in the current age when we are more ambitious, when each of our friends steps up to the challenges for a brighter future. The toughest time in friendship is to part ways, for instance graduating from college, moving on to different workplace, making a living in different geographical location, etc. And at each such time, we'll have a heart-break, though we get used to it eventually. Since we keep up with friends, it might look a little has changed since the time you had parted, but over a period of time you'll see the difference very very clearly. You would miss the little joys and camaraderie of your friends a lot. On a personal note, if I look back, I've had wonderful time with enthusiastic friends around, and lot of activity each week. But then a few friends had to take a diversion for various reasons, and the gap they have left in my life is so wide to imagine something filling it. That's the way of life, and that's the singlemost thing which makes life an adventure.

One of the very very important reasons due to which friends move on has to do with relationships such as finding a girlfriend or tying a knot. Finding a girlfriend or soul mate is not incidental. You got to spend a lot of time, and have a good heart, tying to understand and work towards making a normal relationship into something very special. Once you start working at a relationship and start spending lot of time, you will obviously feel the dearth of time for other activities or your daily activities. For instance, you might start talking on your mobile for quite a long time, and at times leave no time for anything else. Exactly at this juncture you would face one of the toughest challenges of your life - Balancing your relationships or keeping up with love and friends. And now you tend to feel that Girlfriend is the first enemy if friendship. The latter part of the argument, ie about marriage being the second, one need not explain how much it occupies a person.

But the truth is, we have to draw a line at some point in order to strike a balance between friends and soul mate. Neither could be forgone at the cost of the other. It takes good amount of time to arrive at equilibrium, but more than anything, one needs patience to wait on things to congeal. It lies with the person to approach both the ends with positive attitude and making amends in the time he has. One trick is not treating these two as separate entities in the first place. Essentially, you would need transparency at both the ends. Each of the parties must know of the other clearly, so that they can understand and appreciate the other. By making your friends know about the soul mate, you obviously make her their friend, or at least have them take the relationship positively. But the bottomline is - some price must be paid in terms of the time and energy. Eventually, both would co-exist with a good balance.

As per the marriage, that's definitely something which changes a person drastically. One has so much responsibility and dependence on the other that you can never find time as would have found otherwise. Here, the repercussions are very conspicuous. This is something where you need to set yourself aloof from everything else. Though it's evil, it has to be faced by everybody - so the relative effect could be normal. Even here, after things precipitate, you would have time to get back to all the old times; but the biggest challenge is the time it would take. It takes a lot for a few, and a jiffy for a few others. In any case, it is one of those necessary evils which can not be circumvented. All one can do is act mature in the way he looks at life, and strives to maintain the friendship as he faces the challenges of life.

In reality, if one has to face this dilemma, he is very lucky, that is - he has very good friends whom he can't live without and a good soul mate. So, this is again a kind of a necessary evil which gives life a few twists but overtime gives a perfect balance. But the bottomline is - time decides how painful an affect these two relationships, love and marriage, have on friendship.

In God's great economy, nothing goes waste

PROLOGUE:
This is a mail which I wrote to a set of friends on 5th April, 2006. I've read about something and experienced that to be true. Even if the narration below looks like not directed to you, read for the message. I wrote this when I was missing friends with all of us spread across the globe trying to get to terms with life - studying, working. I don't want to adulterate the feel of the mail, so I paste as it is...

Hi gang!!!
Hope you are all driving high in your profession.
Today I have something different for you. As the subject says, I want to tell something about "In God's great economy nothing goes waste".
Did this seems like some quote you've seen somewhere. yeah, it's famous; I read it recently in andhrabhoomi online paper. But, I felt it to be true, and I felt bad to see this quote so late in my life. This turned out to be so true.
Let me give you an illustration (may be a poor one; Because u r my friends u will read this). Last week, perhaps a fortnight ago, I was looking for an envelope to send some papers to my brother. I went to the stall. I didn't have change, so I thought I'll take more envelopes than I need lest the shop keeper should feel bad for my not giving him change. I asked for a big envelope(costing one rupee), and another(costing half a rupee). I didn't needed the second one, but thought I'll take. I didn't use it till today. I used the bigger one. Suddenly, I had to send an application to one of the colleges, and needed an envelope. I searched room for that abandoned enveloped, and thus it served my purpose.
You might say it indeed happen to you too. Good, that's true.
Likewise, many things in life don't seem to matter at all the time we come across first, but sooner we find them useful. We might do something incidentally when doing something else, and find that come back to us for good at later point of time. Or we bear some unpleasant thing (wound or pain or failure in examination or something else) thinking we don't deserve such a treatment, but that's all part of life. Like we can't experience the joy of the day if we haven't experienced the darkness, similarly joy in life includes all things. Many a time, we feel there are many unimportant things happening in life. But, all things will happen for some good reason. Their actual worth is revealed at proper time.
Let's not regret on anything which doesn't come our way, but enjoy the failure trying to understand the reason behind it. Let's not grieve for the lost entertainment, but fulfill our duty hoping there's time for everything. I think u got me: yeah, there's time for all of us to gather, spend life together, share our experiences, and enjoy the sweet memories each one of us. Let's do our best now, and come out of the clutches deciding our destiny (hope u understood. Ante, life lo chinna vishayalu manam em cheyali em cheyodu ani resrtict cheyakudadu. manam mana life ni jeevinchali, gadipeyyodu). I meant to say we must live our lives (in the sense enjoy like our heart desires), and not just become mechanical. For that, we gotta work hard now and let not life decide everything for us.

I am not emotional. So, don't be carried away. I wanted to convince u that "In God's great economy nothing goes waste" is indeed a right statement. Pani pata lekapothe ilane untundani anipistunda???
So, hope u had nice read; get back to work.
write some nonsense once a while. Hopefully all are ready to listen. Anduke ga manam ee group start chesam. Antha mana valle, evadinaina thittali anukunte, ikkada rayandi, memu anandistamu. Edo oka topic meeda sollu discussion ayina pedadam. Ala aina okaritho okaram matladukuntam.
Ok then, have a great day!!!!!!

Me and Myself: FRIENDS

Now, I've thought about tagging or classifying my posts. For instance, "me and myself" tag would say that it's a very personal view or close to my heart, "My journey in India" says that's a travel blog, and likewise.. Enough for the prologue, continue reading....

FRIENDS...

There are too many topics to write on friendship/friends but I'll write about one thing which is orthogonal to friendship but has great impact on friendship.
It's FATE/LIFE.

Yes, your fate choses friends for you, or to be more placid, you dont chose friends but your life chooses them for you. Imagine what would have happened to you if you had not got into the college you studied, or had not worked for the firm that you had worked or have been working.. As with other teenagers, I had wished to get into one of the best colleges for graduation. It didnt work out and I had to choose what came to me. And now if I look back and ponder over what has happened to me, I dont regret. It's the same with everybody. More than the college, what lingers in your heart is the friendship you've made. Not the college's reputation, nor the lecturers, nor the top rankers of college, but your old dear friends who shared their life with you and made your life a happier thing are the ones who make your heart skip its beat.

As seasons and years pass by, you obviously add new friends to your circle, spend time with new ones more than the old ones-which again is what life has chosen for you. Naturally, the priorities keep changing, and that's inevitable. One such change is finding a partner (I bring in this just for the sake of one friend- naresh aka krishna chaitanya; he'd been waiting for my view on friendship). Though it looks a bit odd for the old friends who have been with a guy since college/childhood, the introduction of newer friends is part of life, just that this one is special than other new friends. This is the time one has to make a correct balance of his relationships and friendships. Of course, it begins shaky with respect to the balance, but friends get used to that and the guy himself too; so, both would co-exist seamlessly after a while, which is the best thing to happen to anybody. There couldn't be any other gift to a person than a balanced life between family and friends.

To conclude, as some good person said, there are different kinds of friends.

There are a few who are for moments. you needed their help at some instance, and they were with you. Perhaps life had different plans you haven't met them since. Another example, you visit a few relatives - may be for marriages or for yearly festivals. And may be you like a few of them most. You'd have great time with them but you'd leave them after that festival, and proceed with your daily routine in which they don't have place. But deep down in your heart you have a special feeling for them, a special concern, but life's such a way that you don't get to show that always. It's strange but true, and there are some friends who are meant to be like that.

There are few other friends who are for seasons. They are your friends in school, college, workplace with whom you had wonderful time but again life's taken you to different places since then.

AND THERE ARE A FEW FRIENDS WHO ARE FOR LIFE. you met them sometime in the past (or you are bound to meet a few in future :P), and haven't left you since then. They were with your for moments, seasons, years and they are with you now. Whether they would be with you for ever is for time to decide.

A person's greatness is not by the virtue of his affluence, but his friends. If you could have a couple of friends who could stand by you when the whole world stands against, you'd be the happiest person on the earth. Never give up on friendship. If life takes you far from a friend, try making conscious effort of keeping the flame burning; life gets him back for you when you need him most.

Finding new friends is easy; keeping the friends for ever is challenging, and is very satisfying. Sit back and relish the friendship you've enjoyed with your friends!!!


EPILOGUE: There was a break in my writing this post between the first and and the rest paras. Let me know with your comments if there is any lapse in the mood or flow.

My Journey In India: Ramappa and Laknavaram

After a long thought to keep my blog alive, I've decided that I'd write about my visits to places in India, mostly south. I've seen enough of them and thought this blog could help people find the way to these places very easily.

Again after a bit of arbitration I've chosen the shortest, simplest yet wonderful places for my first travel blog. The places are Ramappa and Laknavaram which are around 20kms apart.

Located in Warangal district of Andhra Pradesh, Ramappa's history dates back to 16th century when Kakatiyas ruled Warangal, then called Ekashilanagaram. Ramappa contains historical Temples, the famous Nandi statue, and then the widely known Ramappa Lake. Ramappa temple has many intriguing things like the stones used make pleasant sounds when hit, the bricks used for construction float in water, and the famous statues of a dancing woman or Goddess which preside on all the entrances of the temple. A big wall surrounds the temple which has a way inside it so that the soldiers can travel through the wall to attack the enemies. This is one such an innovative idea they've had. It's now tough to find those bricks which float in water, but the mere idea of having such bricks says for itself the engineering genius of those days. Also, the temple itself was built with very similarly huge stones which were carried there by elephants. And those monster structures are still in place, the same way. There wasn't any cement used. It's just the wonderful way of organizing stone above another which kept the temple intact even after centuries. Lot more about history, the guides in there would have helluva lot of information about the history and making of the temple. It has been gaining prominence of late thanks to the film shooting which regularly happens there. The Nandi Statue which stands at the eastern entrance is a big attraction. It was carved out of a single stone and the nandi is believed to have been used to store gold and jewels.

At 2kms apart is the Ramappa Lake. Was set up again during Kakatiya rule, serves the purpose of providing water to thousands of hectares of land around that place. Another good thing about the lake is: all the tanks around that place have a means of moving excess waters in to Ramappa lake. There is a lot more to write about these two places and the other temples between these two.

Moving on, there is another wonderful place called Laknavaram, which is a naturally formed lake between the hills. This is almost 8 to 10 times larger than the Ramappa tank itself and is the largest lake in the surrounding areas. One has to travel through the forest, a bit ghat road to reach the other side of one hill to see the lake. It has been gaining tourist acclaim of late, and the government also looks like working towards making the visitor's time more memorable. There are couple of islands in the lake, and a rope bridge was constructed to help people walk unto that island. Other plans like setting up a restaurant have been in vogue.On the whole, this is one must visit place if somebody visits Ramappa. As for me, I visit this every Christmas as this is just a stone throw away(not literally) from my home.

TRAVEL GUIDE:
Ramappa is located near Mulugu, one of the towns in Warangal which existed from ages. Mulugu is 47kms from Warangal, and Ramappa is a further 11kms. Both Ramappa and Laknavaram are on the same side of Mulugu, the road to reach them spilts after 5 kms from Mulugu. So, after traveling 5kms from Mulugu, taking left would take you to Ramappa which is 6kms from there, and going straight will lead to Laknavaram which is 17 kms from that point. You would have to travel 10kms straight, take a right turn and travel 7 kms for Laknavaram. Make sure you ask the passers-by for information. Happy visiting.

Newer set of posts coming soon

Hi readers,
This is after long time that I get to do something about my blog. There are varied subjects to write on, and I believed putting them all at one place makes a big mess. Now that I learnt we have to live with this limitation of having all kinds of blogs at one place, the saving grace that one could have tags to get specific kinds of posts, I've decided against my original thought of having separate blogs for each topic. That would have been good, but then let me reduce the different kinds to categories like personal, technical, political, etc,. That said, soon you should a flurry of posts. I'd make them to entertain you to the maximum with pictures and such stuff.. Happy blogging!