Homecoming - The Liftoff and Landing

     If you've decided to move back and are trying to figure out how, you are at the right place. I intend present my experience and some practical advice on what you might want to consider. As with anything, there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Stack rank the options and pick the ones that are most important for you.

    First thing about exit is to plan ahead of time. Remind yourself that you are taking one of the biggest decisions of your life. Therefore, try not to haste.

Letting go

    Depending on the tenure of your stay, you'd have accumulated tons of stuff. You can't obviously take 'em all with you. So, prepare to let go of many things. Some things just can't be brought in. Most important of those for me was the car. You'd have latest versions of cars that barely seem to age, and yet you would have to part with it. Back in those days you'd have to abandon many electronics. However, now you could get almost anything. Thanks to globalization, most manufacturers gauge their appliances to work everywhere. Then comes books and rest of the household goods. Prepare to donate things you can.

 

Shipping

    Over the recent past, India has been added with several options to get the 'international' stuff that you'd have used in the US. The likes of Amazon and Ikea have changed the definition of shopping in India, letting you to return goods without hassle. In addition, you find the same stuff over here with adjusted wattage and on-par price.

 

    Essentially, what you get boils down to your attachment with the stuff. There's an important factor though - 'how you get it'.

 

 

How to ship

    If your employer is handling your shipping, think no further and just go with it. In majority of the cases, that would be the best option. You really do not want to deal with international, over-the-sea shippers yourselves. Here are some reasons why you would want to use your employer offered shipping:

1. You do not have to pack stuff yourself

2. You could go all-in and get all your household stuff. You can take a container full of goods that including home furnishings, bedding, and electronics.

3. You are not chasing everyone (ie the shippers) yourself

4. You expect the good to be delivered on time

5. No surprises after shipping starts

    Now, if you were to ship it yourself (i.e, employer cannot do that), then look for the options available. Select the ones that are doing the most of the shipments. They are not necessarily the most expensive ones. In fact, I'd suggest to go with the most economical one. When it comes to overseas shipping, I do not see any 'professional' player that isn't exorbitantly expensive.

 

    Above all that, the bigger issue is that none of the foreign shippers have local presence. They often tie-up with local shippers for domestic disbursal. So, it does not really matter how big their name is in the US. Putting the boxes on the ship is the easy part. Handling it professionally once it lands is tricky. If a shipper has local presence, then that would be an ideal choice.

 

Shipping expectations

    Do not expect your average US shipper to be professional. All the professionalism stops as soon as your goods are picked up. Expect your shipper to get back to you with additional charge just because 'they did not anticipate the size requirements' properly. As ridiculous as it seems, despite conforming to all the dimension and weight guides, it is highly likely that you are asked to pay extra fee.

 

    Some charge additional palleting fee. Very few are upfront about exact charges. Some put it vague in order to justify their prices later on. I understand shippers need to do that. The concern here is being honest about it.

    Do not expect your shipment to start on time. Here's where your average shipper is different from a better one. Most of the shippers don't own shipping lines. They leverage existing shipping lines. Most of them collate boxes from several individuals and try to squeeze them on to the ship that is most economical for them. No blaming them here, they are not here for charity. As a customer you need to be aware that this attributes to significant delay sometimes. It depends on the time of the year, economical situations, and at global issues like covid-19 pandemic.

    In some cases, shippers update you that they cannot deliver stuff to your house. Especially during the covid-19 pandemic, some shipping businesses have downsized. In other cases, they are probably not making as much profit as they thought they would with your shipment. You would be asked to pay extra to ensure it gets delivered. That's such a shame because you do not have any other option.

    Once the shipment lands in India, it's altogether a different story. In fact, once your stuff is on the ship, your original shipper is more or less done with his work. Indian counterparts take it over. They come with their own idiosyncrasies.

    You are expected to pay customs. Even if you are 'relocating' as per governments conditions for 'returning citizen', there are lot of other charges. Invariably, you would pay 'delay fee'. What is baffling is that the 'delay' is calculated from the day you land on the Indian soil not your shipment. It is by far the most ludicrous reason I heard in the entire shipment process. That implies, you will pay 'delay fee', some fee just because customs let you get the stuff off the ship, some fee for inspecting your stuff etc. All this is in addition to any customs fee you'd pay. You begin to wonder what then is the use of that international shipper? Didn't he account for all these charges?

    These days you pay your Indian shipper extra money for 'handling stuff during covid'. As it stands on the day of writing this abstract, almost everything is back to normal in India. But your shipper wants extra money.

    Local shippers charge you through the nose for handling your shipment. Where the hell is the money I already paid to the US shipper, you demand. Summing it up, you will have to shell out significant amount of money once your stuff lands in India. By now, you are already determined to get your stuff in one piece; hence, you consent without further inquiries. Your mind tells you that's futile anyway.

    To put succinctly, use your employer when you can. Otherwise, dump most of the stuff in US; get just what you cannot let go.  Do not expect anything from the shipper.

What to bring in

    Quality of life has been improving tremendously these days in India. You have all the international options here.

 

    If you are getting a container worth of goods, then there is no question about what you want to get. You are already paying for entirety. Get whatever fits in it. End of the day, you are decreasing the average dollar price for shipping as you pile on. You do not have to think unless you are exceeding that container. If you are, they you mostly likely do not need whatever does not fit it.

    If there is no pod at your disposal, then get the minimum you need, mostly goods of sentimental value like portraits, apparel, etc. With the ascent of international players in India and e-commerce vendors, you get almost anything. Most brands (especially electronics) are now making things specifically for India for just the sheer number of people in the country who have access to those. Gone are the days when you considered getting your 4K TV or wifi mesh network or tablets or phone or any other stuff. You get most of it here.

School

    

    Your kids perhaps go to government schools in the US, where you pay nothing compared to private education. Your mind is tuned to not paying for school. However, once you land in India, I bet you won't send your kids to city operated school. Thankfully, there are many options these days. Most of the schools have international curriculum and conditions. There is no shortage of good education here (however you might want to define that 'good'). You just have to pay for it. Education is a big part of your expenses these days, and you just deal with it.

    A piece of advice if I may - Do not compare current education expenses to what you've paid for your school. If you ponder overly on that, you will end up spending that much anyway on your hospital stay :)

Housing

    

    Do not worry much about this. The fact that you returned is some downgrade. You will not find housing to be that much of an issue. In reality, you have many options these days. It's been a while that gated communities have been in vogue in India. You will not have an issue finding one that suits your taste and budget. It is a no-brainer. After all, you need to settle down now. Do not worry about some money you will save by downsizing yourself. Live that life that you are used to, in the US albeit in Indian standards. You know what I mean!

    All is not gloom though. You get domestic help. Most of you have family support. You do not have to run between day-care and grocery stores amidst your busy office schedule. A lot of that pain is taken away.

    Essentially, you win some, you lose some. It is up to you how you see that. The sooner you reconcile yourself to the facts, the better it is.

 

     

Homecoming

 This is a series of pages on my experience and views on returning to India from the United States. To each his own, but this is strictly personal perspective in a generalized manner!

As with any decision, it boils down to three things - Priorities, Priorities and Priorities! Frivolous redundancy apart, there is a deliberate attempt to emphasize human choices. End of the day, it the Joy that satisfies human soul.

On a completely extreme perspective, there is no such thing as homecoming. The world is segregated into regions and countries due to our limited mind, and things beyond our control (like governance). Zoom out to 30000 feet and you won't find any boundaries. Watch from space, you'll notice that the earth is a giant ball of water overlaid with white clouds! Well, you can distance yourself a bit more to see we are but a tiny speck. The bottom line is home is where you are content, where joy is the way of life! It cannot be determined with physical boundaries.

 

Backtracking to the original point, man seeks solace and comfort everyday and as he grows wise where he looks for these often changes. That's why you find yourself chasing new hobbies as time passes by. Homecoming is part of that journey to find rest. It is to be surrounded by people that make you feel home. When all the passing fads dissolve, what remains is the people that you call your own.

The point I'm trying to drive home is that it is a personal choice! There's no universal answer for contentment. It's a state of being! Read on with a grain of salt and reflect on the choices that augment your joy!

Journey through further reflections in the posts below:

http://dilusworld.blogspot.com/2020/09/homecoming-liftoff-and-landing.html

One Day Bharat (Sorry, Vande Bharat)!

 

 The term 'Vande Bharat' often amused me as my myopic mind gorges with petty delights that face me each day! On a serious note, I named it 'One Day Bharat' as I often slip into a reminiscence of my travails getting back home!

Jokes apart, it is an eventful 'one day', right from the start. 'One day' perhaps refers to the day of travel, but trouble starts much earlier than that, depending on how you made your purchase. Rest of this blog turns to a serious note in order to provide accurate and succinct advise to anyone who is looking to travel.

If you do not have time to go through the arduous details, please skip to summary at the end!

Day '-N' (read 'minus N'):

N is the number of days from the time of ticket purchase to the day of your travel. I cannot emphasize this enough as this might be the biggest monetary risk you'll face during the entire travel! Beware of Air India (henceforth AI in this blog for brevity)! It is perhaps the most sloppiest of the organizations (subject to your experience!) to work with. 'Day -N' is the day you are purchasing air travel. Be doubly (triply) sure when you want to travel and from where. Given that flights do not necessarily originate from your place of stay in the US, give it some thought. Circumstances of many stranded individuals sort of made this a mad rush of a booking. It is quite possible for you to get riled up with the booking experience, and in your anxiety end up blocking the very first flight wherever it could be. Don't do that! Not with Air India!. What makes this worse (or made it worse previously) is the lack of upfront communication from government as to how long the program would run. It feels as though they're going to extend it on-demand as opposed to extended dates based on the requests they got.

Step back, take a deep breath, and then book from the place that's most convenient. If you then booked a ticket with AI, try to make it to that flight (unless you can't). It is a nightmare to cancel that ticket and book an another one. Unfortunately, I did that. Obviously, you can purchase a new one without an issue. However, cancelling the original one (because you do not want others to miss out on a chance to return on your unclaimed seat) is a pain. I called AI several times accounting to 3-4 hours of cumulative waiting before getting to somebody on the call. My ticket was cancelled but I was told there would not be any confirmation email or any communication whatsoever. I didn't believe it is possible to cancel without a notice of any sort. After 3 months, I can now believe that it is possible!

Well, if you did cancel your ticket, expect the unexpected! Your degree of astonishment depends on the length of stay in the US! You'd be used to generous treatment from vendors over there. Welcome to the other side of the world. You'll have hard time getting to AI, spend long waiting hours on the phone sometimes to be dropped callously. At other times, the line goes blank; you don't even get that annoying hold tune. You begin to wonder whether you are really in queue! And dare not email their customer care. I thought those emails go straight to trash. In my case, I got a response from AI three months after my initial email (and 6 reminders, after which I gave up) only to ask me to go back to their Customer care! You'll discover it is an endless circle when customer care asks you to email them!

Well the summary is - don't put yourself in a state where you have to cancel the ticket. It seems as though  'Vande Bharat' flights are going to be around for a while, so buy your time and plan well. If you happen to cancel, talk to your credit card company to claim the amount!

Day 0

This is the day of travel and here I should commend crew for their job. For their part, the staff was constantly reminding passengers to maintain distance, and offering the service. You'll need to arrive early at airport (perhaps 5 hrs earlier), expect long waiting time before you could stretch your legs. Contrary to many blogs, you do not need to get any signed documents or Covid tests, etc. All the documents you need are provided to you. Have a pen handy to fill in documentation. Do not panic and do not rush. You will be serviced and will not be left behind.

Enter the airport, and find out the counter to get your temperature read. You are allowed in the line only with a proof of temperature check - usually a sticker on your passport. In the line, please be patient, and be courteous to others. Maintain distance and stop the spread. Your bags are weighed but not the laptop bag. Yes, you can have a carry-on in addition to laptop bag, but the former would be weighed.

Security lines will be shorter than usual. Once on the plane, you'll find a packet on your seat that contains food for travel along with water, a face shield, a packet with couple of masks and sanitizers. Though sufficient for the duration of the flight, it is beneficial to carry your own masks, gloves and sanitizers for the journey before and after the flight. Fill up extra water just in case, empty bowels to avoid in-flight nuisance. Get extra food to satisfy your appetite - preferably non-perishable, and remember that most of the shops might be closed!

Passengers in the middle seat are given an overall, not exactly PPE kit, but a poor man's imitation. It is better to get your own hazmat suit if you can. Don't be embarrassed to get extra protection. Your safety is more vital than others' opinions.

Don't expect others to follow social distancing. I'll avoid going into a rant about people behavior here. Most of the travelers might be stranded elderly, and sometimes they do not understand instructions. If your loved ones are traveling, instruct them at home on the safety measures.

 

Finally, your flight will not necessarily be the state of the art plane. In fact, it could barely be adequate. Get ready to be greeted by squeaking seats, broken arm rests, and unwieldy back rests. There is no in-flight entertainment, blankets, beverages or any service for that matter. You cannot call on the attendants. They might visit a couple of times during the 24 hour period with water. Prepare to enjoy your solitude, ponder on your prior life, and mentally brace yourself for the completely unexpected life ahead! Ironically, I felt amused at seeing all these! It felt like a retro theme, although I admit I was tad worried back of my mind. I did not let my train of thoughts take off, and constantly tried to stay in the moment. That's the best piece of advise I can give you! After all, there is very little in our control. TIG (Trust in God)!

Day 1

After you land on Indian soil, it depends when you could actually make it to your home. From what I saw, there is no method to this madness. Depending on the circumstances on the day you land (again TIG), you could be sent immediately home or could be quarantined for a week. I went through one week of solitude!

 

Passengers with emergencies or with kids under 10 are allowed to return to their homes. As to what constitutes an 'emergency' cannot be foretold. There would be medical professionals trying to fend people who make lame excuses wanting to go home, me included. You must appreciate their patience and their sense of humor (and sensibility to avoid showing it) in listening to fake stories. I do not want to be condescending to the others, but those doctors are really doing their duty!

Based on when you land, it might be several hours before you can go through to the doctors. Relax, have grub, and go back to your thoughts on why you couldn't have waited to take this flight :)

The Week that wasn't

Quarantine time was the best of my travel. I anticipated subdued treatment going by the things. To my amazement, quarantine (at least in Delhi) was awesome! Being locked up in a room with good hygiene is not an issue for me. I enjoyed my stay without any disturbance of room service. Room service would place food, replacement sheets, and others at the door for you to pick them yourself. The hotel I stayed replenished water and coffee (powder) with biscuits prior to placing sumptuous breakfast with fruits and juice! Breakfast was the best meal of the day! Rest of the meal was okay, though the portion sizes were huge. I often requested omission of certain foods to avoid wastage.

If I had to nit-pick, I'd probably say I didn't expect Lifebuoy soap and Clinic plus shampoo! Since I had my own supply, I chuckled to myself a little.

In many ways, this week wasn't entirely useless. I overcame bulk of the jetlag during that time.  Toxins from the flight travel would be subdued here.  Thankfully, there is internet - I do not know how we could survive without that!

Domestic flight back home was added an extra hop overnight. By then, I was accustomed to surprises and was hardly affected with the change. I was glad I made it home in one piece! Everything else seemed minuscule before that.

For the hasty, here are some Dos and Don'ts

 

The Don'ts

1. Don't panic. It's going to be okay.

2. Don't book in a hurry. Cancellation/Refund is a pain you don't want to go through.

3. Don't have preconceived notion on quarantine. Prepared to be surprised.

4. Don't have to get a face shield. You'll be given one in the flight. If you have a better one, get it.

5. Don't have to fill in docs at home. You can fill in while waiting in check-in line. I found the format to be slightly different.

The Dos

1. Get extra food (non perishable like energy bars, cookies, Indian snacks) 

2. Wear a jacket and get additional throw blanket as Airline does not provide blankets

3. Enough sanitizer but ensure it is travel pack (3 Fl Oz - 100ml)

4. A few pairs of gloves - change as required

5. Face masks (not the ones that hang to your ears), N-95 or KN-95

6. Travel packs of paste, shower gel, etc (if you are picky about the ones they provide in the hotel)

7. Print out of your ticket - might be needed after landing

8. Boarding pass - keep it until you reach home

9. Pen - you'd not want to borrow that

10. Charge your phone often - but please sanitize the cable/phone once you unplug it. You can charge phone after immigration checks at the destination while waiting to be called along with your group.

11. If you are a reader, get a book along. There is no in-flight entertainment.

12. Install Arogya sethu app in your phone. Carry some currency/Cards. On Indian soil you'll find coffee and mobile booths

13. Get your own headsets/earphones, copy movies in phone/tablet. Most streaming services should allow you to download some videos.

14. Ensure you have working phone. If you are quarantined, you will need to talk to AI to reschedule domestic leg. Getting to them on the phone is tiresome.

What to expect

1. Do not expect social distancing from others. Anywhere. Whether in checkin queue or in the flight. Flight crew tries their best, but people are people.

2. There is no in-flight service. Crew walk by once or twice during the entire duration with water.

3. Only travelers with kids under 10 are sent home. Others, unless there is an emergency, have to be quarantined, including elderly (>60 yrs).

4. Quarantine hotels are good. Those are not government facilities. Service is good.

5. You need to pay quarantine expenses. Make arrangements for that (carry cards)

6. There is no need to undergo prior Covid tests. They won't do Covid tests at the airport. You'll be checked only for temperature

7. You neither will be tested in the hotel. All they do is thermal checks. Only if you have grave symptoms, additional check is done.

8. Expect to lug your stuff. Once you are out of airport, you will not have carts. Travel light if possible.

9.  Once you land, you will be processed according to the destination state. If there are directions from local state or there is a representative, you will be sent with them. Everybody else needs to be quarantined. Therefore, expect to be quarantined for a week. I do not think there is 2 week quarantine now.

10. There is no quarantine or additional checks in your domestic airport. You will walk as though you are regular domestic passenger. Only thermal checks are done

 11. Discipline yourself to do home quarantine. There might not be any checks from government now. It is up to you to keep your family safe.

Like Poles Attract!

You must be thinking what this guy is up to with an out-of-his-mind heading!
And you must be wondering, haven't I read that like poles repel and the opposites attract? They why does this guy talk this way? I'd be happy if that had occurred to you. In fact, that was the motive behind naming this blog differently.

By the way, I am talking the same subject in which you had heard that likes repel - Relationships. I was talking to my girlfriend (technically my wife, but that word is too heavy, isn't it?) about my last my blog about success, and she had wondered why I'd always choose topics like hard-work, attitude, success etc.. That talk led us to debate my portrayal of success differently this time, while in most occasions I'd ask people to be serious about their goals. Further ramblings led me to my current topic!

Friends!, I wonder why most of my blogs revolve around this! Ah, did I say I'd begin the topic of my blog? Alright, here we go into the blog!

Necessity finds us friends, and we keep them. Imagine you had not studied in the college you did, would you have those friends who're around you now? yes, we find friends to share our joy, sorrows, and to have fun. That's why we all make friends wherever we go. Well, fast forward a few years, and see how many of the gang do you still consider friends? or rather talk? How many of them you'd like to spend time with? For how many of them does your heart ache? Do you see the number dwindling as you had read through those questions? Well, it's natural.

After we had made friends with people, and keep making new friends as meet new people, we would find a few very different from us, a few tolerable, and a few with striking similarities. Those in the last category stay with you for a long time, possibly for life. That establishes the theme - like poles attract! People with like-minded thoughts tend to stay together over a long period of time.

Now, look at the list of your friends to see them if you have any similarities. Do not worry if you find a friend whom you like a lot but is just not like you. I have another theory coming up which might help you. Continue reading!

While you ponder over all this, you would try to refute what I say. Some would have thought of any instances where my logic does not make sense. Wait, I'd tell you one. Marriage. And better - Arranged marriage. Yes, in marriage (arranged is the current topic) two completely different people (astrologies and cast apart!) join their hands to start a new life. Well, you could say they are not definitely alike on day one. Indeed they are not. Then does my argument make sense? In marriage different people come together. Not just the couple but their families and friends are sort of cloistered into a new segment. Let's just take the couple. How do they live together being different? That is because when you start liking somebody and live with that person, you would admire a few good qualities and imbibe them into you. You would forgo a few qualities which your peer might not admire. You would come out from that ME world to OUR world. And this happens from both the ends. After a period of time, the differences dissolve and only the like qualities remain. Better said, the like qualities dominate (because no two people on earth are same). I guess that's the beauty of nature. We fit in the holes when we're put in there while we were squares! There you go, the Like stay together!



EPILOGUE:
So, either the survived are made fit or the fittest survive (It's a metaphor here, hope you've got the intent)! Otherwise, relationships are at stake. Hope you would have a nice balance of your relationships!

Success

Success...
Something you always aspire to, something you've always dreamed of, something for which you would live all your life, and at times, for a few, is something for which you go to any end, lose everybody, and everything else. Nirvana.

Success can also take forms. It might mean money to a few, fame to a few others, revenge for even a few, faith for a few sects, and so on. Everybody dreams of his definition of success and longs to gain it. It would be an easily achievable task at times, and might be a daunting task at others. It depends of what we dream of.

The whole point of this writing is to ascertain that success in itself does not mean the end result. Success is not the destination itself, but also includes the way you take to arrive at it. As it is said, 'if you win the whole world, and lose yourself, what's the point?', success is just not what you experience at the end. Everything which comes on that path to success is part of it, even failures. Just like we cant admire the sun if there was no night, and can't admire health if we were not sick, success does not taste sweet if there was no failure. So, failures play a big role in the success. Take failures as challenges and don't fail in the same way again. You fail and fail yet again till there is no other way to fail, you would reach success.

You could enjoy all the riches and joy at the end of the road, but if you take all your life to reach there, what is the point? Since there is no shortcut to success, we would all reach it only very late in our lives. By then we would have lived all the young and energetic days of our lives. What difference does it make to you if the whole world is under you at that age where you cannot do anything but feel happy. You cannot run, cannot eat everything you like, cannot yell, cannot live life to fullest. Success at a later stage is similar to that.

So, instead of losing all happiness and good things around while you strive to be successful, take joy at life's each small thing. Life is full of surprises, let's not indulge ourselves a lot into the struggle that we don't care about these small moments. A moment once lost can never come back, so let's trudge of in our path of success even while having fun and lighter moments. Those moments would give you immense joy and contentment even if you had not achieved success.
After all, success is a feeling!

Endurance

Hi friends!
Back after a while! Though I had been thinking about posting a new column in here, I had been pressed for time for various reasons both at personal and professional fronts. I dedicate this one to all my friends (again :)) who have/had been facing trials, and importantly one special person, my fiancee, for all she had been through.

It is a while since I had endured a tough time for prolonging period. I had rough patch around this time last year professionally while I was trying to cope with what happened to me at a workplace. To see somebody suffer is quite different from being in their shoes and actually experience it. While I had been in that phase, I wrote a short poem describing my feelings, and my ambition or grit to overcome it. And of late, I was browsing through a personal set of notes on my laptop, and was pleased to see this short poem.

Life comes in all types for us. Sufferings make us strong. I reiterate one thing - life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it. My life had taught me tough lessons, and made me strong. I'd really like to write a bit more about suffering, but I'm just too happy to ponder over the past. Since I would set myself aloof from things today as I had to travel overnight, I would try and bring in more encouraging stuff to this blog. Meanwhile, here is the rambling for you:

When the time doesn't come by your way
When you see the things falling apart
It's the time when your endurance'd pay
All those times you sadly had to depart

How could this happen, you could wonder
That you're worthy of more grace
Is this true that happened did u ponder
And yes it is real, you must embrace

When all the creatures happily go on
Into the worldly ties they adhere
You're lost and cast away and so on
Out of nowhere into the virtual sphere

And yes, the wheel would turn
Surpassing all trials and the press
Filling you with happiness for mourn
Leaving no space for you to depress

Here is the time you always long
All through the abysmal pits
Overflows your heart with lovely song
Make up the lost time with your wits


Hit back strong at the hardships. I had been believing one thing all my life - The secret to success is to realize where you stand. For instance, you would want to achieve something. The first thing you would want to do is to assess yourself, see where you stand, and what you aim for. By being honest to your own self, you would get chance to analyze what it takes to be successful. The next step is to devise a strategic plan very diligently paying attention to minute details. To end this, I'd like to add one more statement. Everything is life has a cost which could be your mental or physical. You have to pay price to gain that. The way you pay makes you different from others. You might try to pay price in one short (like burning midnight oils for assignments/exams) or systematically. Realizing yourself and the goal early, and beginning to work at it immediately is the secret of most success stories.

Hold pride and honesty in yourselves. You need both; honesty to accept what you are, and pride to keep your expectations/standards high. Go, win the world!!!

Friends forever - Missing a Friend

Friends, for another time I shall write about friends and how I miss them. As I wrote in my previous posts, days have been like a fairy tale, when I lived with those friends whom I love. And the gap they left in my life is so vivid and large, that I am seriously disappointed to accept the truth that life's like that.

This ballad (I dare call it so, but then it's my past which i love) is dedicated to those set of friends whom I miss everyday, and in each of my celebrations. This is inspired by the friends whom I parted ways with recently like Naresh the Chaitanya, Naresh babu, Naveen, and Arun. I dedicate this to all those who have had a lasting impression on my life and have made my life such an achievement. To list a few: (ordering assorted) Santhu, Naresh aka chaitanya, raja and cricket_team; IIT gang (Naresh, Pradeep, Naveen, Ramu), the only DAVS gang (DAVS stands for Dileep, Ajay, Vijay, Sandeep - the way we christened ourselves and took pride), VHA (Veens, harry, Aru), cjitsfriends mailing list, and others

I took the incidents from my life at IIT with Naresh Babu and Naveen, but the feeling does not change with the others aforementioned. It strikes very personal to these guys and collateral to the others because the way I relate to a person - very personal and very different. I write a part of the thoughts, and there are memories aplenty for which I need more and more pages like this.

At this juncture my heart would ache
To realize our dear with us is fake
As he emabarks on lifes newest track
I only hope the happy times'd be back

Recall to when i first saw your face
Calm and studious were you the ace
Taken aback looking you all discuss
Commenced kinship'n got into concuss


And it grew strong as days went along
Lovely and joyful, it was like a song
Through the hardships and many a bash
At the grub joint always did we mash


When those clouds did melt the rain
Never were we gloomy and did refrain
Through the downpour and all that haze
Scampering in the puddles set we ablaze


Dear pal when you would set out to bowl
Wasnt strong and mighty like wind's howl
Howbeit it filled us with giggles a bunch
Filling our lives with laugh and punch


During those times of interviews and tests
Never had we missed out on fun and fests
Yet we pulled out success the first
Magnificiently we quenched our thirst


As the days of stay began to shrink
When we were at the graduation brink
Fretted over the time passing fast
Knowing that the days wouldnt last


Fortunately did we get a second chance
To live together for a span and dance
Prolonging companionship towards the ridge
Through frolic, cricket, caroms and bridge


Once again through the time will i ponder
How playful have been the days i wonder
More blissful they were than a fairy tale
Memories which would never become stale


Now it's the time i heartily wish
For all those fun i surely'll miss
As u go ahead with mighty endeavour
That wits would work in your favour

Love is the first enemy of Friendship, and marriage is Second ;)

Hmm yet another time I pick up a subject which my friends wanted to know my opinion of.
And now I realize how blogging is still keeping us abreast with the lovely discussions which we might have had, had we been staying together.

As per the subject, I don't really want to hurt the neutral reader, but I'd also like to please the person who asked me to write this, and the gang which appreciates this talk.
Before really getting on to the subject, let me give you an account of how friendships fare in the long run. I've been experiencing this from long time, and hope everybody else do. We find a few friends in our colleges whom we share a lot of time with. Even better if we get to live with the same set of people after the college while we work. Now what happens is, since we all have individual goals, responsibilities, and of course priorities, we decide to move on. At each such juncture, one of our friends moves out in finding peace with the priorities he has, and we got to live with that. This could happen time and again, more in the current age when we are more ambitious, when each of our friends steps up to the challenges for a brighter future. The toughest time in friendship is to part ways, for instance graduating from college, moving on to different workplace, making a living in different geographical location, etc. And at each such time, we'll have a heart-break, though we get used to it eventually. Since we keep up with friends, it might look a little has changed since the time you had parted, but over a period of time you'll see the difference very very clearly. You would miss the little joys and camaraderie of your friends a lot. On a personal note, if I look back, I've had wonderful time with enthusiastic friends around, and lot of activity each week. But then a few friends had to take a diversion for various reasons, and the gap they have left in my life is so wide to imagine something filling it. That's the way of life, and that's the singlemost thing which makes life an adventure.

One of the very very important reasons due to which friends move on has to do with relationships such as finding a girlfriend or tying a knot. Finding a girlfriend or soul mate is not incidental. You got to spend a lot of time, and have a good heart, tying to understand and work towards making a normal relationship into something very special. Once you start working at a relationship and start spending lot of time, you will obviously feel the dearth of time for other activities or your daily activities. For instance, you might start talking on your mobile for quite a long time, and at times leave no time for anything else. Exactly at this juncture you would face one of the toughest challenges of your life - Balancing your relationships or keeping up with love and friends. And now you tend to feel that Girlfriend is the first enemy if friendship. The latter part of the argument, ie about marriage being the second, one need not explain how much it occupies a person.

But the truth is, we have to draw a line at some point in order to strike a balance between friends and soul mate. Neither could be forgone at the cost of the other. It takes good amount of time to arrive at equilibrium, but more than anything, one needs patience to wait on things to congeal. It lies with the person to approach both the ends with positive attitude and making amends in the time he has. One trick is not treating these two as separate entities in the first place. Essentially, you would need transparency at both the ends. Each of the parties must know of the other clearly, so that they can understand and appreciate the other. By making your friends know about the soul mate, you obviously make her their friend, or at least have them take the relationship positively. But the bottomline is - some price must be paid in terms of the time and energy. Eventually, both would co-exist with a good balance.

As per the marriage, that's definitely something which changes a person drastically. One has so much responsibility and dependence on the other that you can never find time as would have found otherwise. Here, the repercussions are very conspicuous. This is something where you need to set yourself aloof from everything else. Though it's evil, it has to be faced by everybody - so the relative effect could be normal. Even here, after things precipitate, you would have time to get back to all the old times; but the biggest challenge is the time it would take. It takes a lot for a few, and a jiffy for a few others. In any case, it is one of those necessary evils which can not be circumvented. All one can do is act mature in the way he looks at life, and strives to maintain the friendship as he faces the challenges of life.

In reality, if one has to face this dilemma, he is very lucky, that is - he has very good friends whom he can't live without and a good soul mate. So, this is again a kind of a necessary evil which gives life a few twists but overtime gives a perfect balance. But the bottomline is - time decides how painful an affect these two relationships, love and marriage, have on friendship.

In God's great economy, nothing goes waste

PROLOGUE:
This is a mail which I wrote to a set of friends on 5th April, 2006. I've read about something and experienced that to be true. Even if the narration below looks like not directed to you, read for the message. I wrote this when I was missing friends with all of us spread across the globe trying to get to terms with life - studying, working. I don't want to adulterate the feel of the mail, so I paste as it is...

Hi gang!!!
Hope you are all driving high in your profession.
Today I have something different for you. As the subject says, I want to tell something about "In God's great economy nothing goes waste".
Did this seems like some quote you've seen somewhere. yeah, it's famous; I read it recently in andhrabhoomi online paper. But, I felt it to be true, and I felt bad to see this quote so late in my life. This turned out to be so true.
Let me give you an illustration (may be a poor one; Because u r my friends u will read this). Last week, perhaps a fortnight ago, I was looking for an envelope to send some papers to my brother. I went to the stall. I didn't have change, so I thought I'll take more envelopes than I need lest the shop keeper should feel bad for my not giving him change. I asked for a big envelope(costing one rupee), and another(costing half a rupee). I didn't needed the second one, but thought I'll take. I didn't use it till today. I used the bigger one. Suddenly, I had to send an application to one of the colleges, and needed an envelope. I searched room for that abandoned enveloped, and thus it served my purpose.
You might say it indeed happen to you too. Good, that's true.
Likewise, many things in life don't seem to matter at all the time we come across first, but sooner we find them useful. We might do something incidentally when doing something else, and find that come back to us for good at later point of time. Or we bear some unpleasant thing (wound or pain or failure in examination or something else) thinking we don't deserve such a treatment, but that's all part of life. Like we can't experience the joy of the day if we haven't experienced the darkness, similarly joy in life includes all things. Many a time, we feel there are many unimportant things happening in life. But, all things will happen for some good reason. Their actual worth is revealed at proper time.
Let's not regret on anything which doesn't come our way, but enjoy the failure trying to understand the reason behind it. Let's not grieve for the lost entertainment, but fulfill our duty hoping there's time for everything. I think u got me: yeah, there's time for all of us to gather, spend life together, share our experiences, and enjoy the sweet memories each one of us. Let's do our best now, and come out of the clutches deciding our destiny (hope u understood. Ante, life lo chinna vishayalu manam em cheyali em cheyodu ani resrtict cheyakudadu. manam mana life ni jeevinchali, gadipeyyodu). I meant to say we must live our lives (in the sense enjoy like our heart desires), and not just become mechanical. For that, we gotta work hard now and let not life decide everything for us.

I am not emotional. So, don't be carried away. I wanted to convince u that "In God's great economy nothing goes waste" is indeed a right statement. Pani pata lekapothe ilane untundani anipistunda???
So, hope u had nice read; get back to work.
write some nonsense once a while. Hopefully all are ready to listen. Anduke ga manam ee group start chesam. Antha mana valle, evadinaina thittali anukunte, ikkada rayandi, memu anandistamu. Edo oka topic meeda sollu discussion ayina pedadam. Ala aina okaritho okaram matladukuntam.
Ok then, have a great day!!!!!!

Me and Myself: FRIENDS

Now, I've thought about tagging or classifying my posts. For instance, "me and myself" tag would say that it's a very personal view or close to my heart, "My journey in India" says that's a travel blog, and likewise.. Enough for the prologue, continue reading....

FRIENDS...

There are too many topics to write on friendship/friends but I'll write about one thing which is orthogonal to friendship but has great impact on friendship.
It's FATE/LIFE.

Yes, your fate choses friends for you, or to be more placid, you dont chose friends but your life chooses them for you. Imagine what would have happened to you if you had not got into the college you studied, or had not worked for the firm that you had worked or have been working.. As with other teenagers, I had wished to get into one of the best colleges for graduation. It didnt work out and I had to choose what came to me. And now if I look back and ponder over what has happened to me, I dont regret. It's the same with everybody. More than the college, what lingers in your heart is the friendship you've made. Not the college's reputation, nor the lecturers, nor the top rankers of college, but your old dear friends who shared their life with you and made your life a happier thing are the ones who make your heart skip its beat.

As seasons and years pass by, you obviously add new friends to your circle, spend time with new ones more than the old ones-which again is what life has chosen for you. Naturally, the priorities keep changing, and that's inevitable. One such change is finding a partner (I bring in this just for the sake of one friend- naresh aka krishna chaitanya; he'd been waiting for my view on friendship). Though it looks a bit odd for the old friends who have been with a guy since college/childhood, the introduction of newer friends is part of life, just that this one is special than other new friends. This is the time one has to make a correct balance of his relationships and friendships. Of course, it begins shaky with respect to the balance, but friends get used to that and the guy himself too; so, both would co-exist seamlessly after a while, which is the best thing to happen to anybody. There couldn't be any other gift to a person than a balanced life between family and friends.

To conclude, as some good person said, there are different kinds of friends.

There are a few who are for moments. you needed their help at some instance, and they were with you. Perhaps life had different plans you haven't met them since. Another example, you visit a few relatives - may be for marriages or for yearly festivals. And may be you like a few of them most. You'd have great time with them but you'd leave them after that festival, and proceed with your daily routine in which they don't have place. But deep down in your heart you have a special feeling for them, a special concern, but life's such a way that you don't get to show that always. It's strange but true, and there are some friends who are meant to be like that.

There are few other friends who are for seasons. They are your friends in school, college, workplace with whom you had wonderful time but again life's taken you to different places since then.

AND THERE ARE A FEW FRIENDS WHO ARE FOR LIFE. you met them sometime in the past (or you are bound to meet a few in future :P), and haven't left you since then. They were with your for moments, seasons, years and they are with you now. Whether they would be with you for ever is for time to decide.

A person's greatness is not by the virtue of his affluence, but his friends. If you could have a couple of friends who could stand by you when the whole world stands against, you'd be the happiest person on the earth. Never give up on friendship. If life takes you far from a friend, try making conscious effort of keeping the flame burning; life gets him back for you when you need him most.

Finding new friends is easy; keeping the friends for ever is challenging, and is very satisfying. Sit back and relish the friendship you've enjoyed with your friends!!!


EPILOGUE: There was a break in my writing this post between the first and and the rest paras. Let me know with your comments if there is any lapse in the mood or flow.

My Journey In India: Ramappa and Laknavaram

After a long thought to keep my blog alive, I've decided that I'd write about my visits to places in India, mostly south. I've seen enough of them and thought this blog could help people find the way to these places very easily.

Again after a bit of arbitration I've chosen the shortest, simplest yet wonderful places for my first travel blog. The places are Ramappa and Laknavaram which are around 20kms apart.

Located in Warangal district of Andhra Pradesh, Ramappa's history dates back to 16th century when Kakatiyas ruled Warangal, then called Ekashilanagaram. Ramappa contains historical Temples, the famous Nandi statue, and then the widely known Ramappa Lake. Ramappa temple has many intriguing things like the stones used make pleasant sounds when hit, the bricks used for construction float in water, and the famous statues of a dancing woman or Goddess which preside on all the entrances of the temple. A big wall surrounds the temple which has a way inside it so that the soldiers can travel through the wall to attack the enemies. This is one such an innovative idea they've had. It's now tough to find those bricks which float in water, but the mere idea of having such bricks says for itself the engineering genius of those days. Also, the temple itself was built with very similarly huge stones which were carried there by elephants. And those monster structures are still in place, the same way. There wasn't any cement used. It's just the wonderful way of organizing stone above another which kept the temple intact even after centuries. Lot more about history, the guides in there would have helluva lot of information about the history and making of the temple. It has been gaining prominence of late thanks to the film shooting which regularly happens there. The Nandi Statue which stands at the eastern entrance is a big attraction. It was carved out of a single stone and the nandi is believed to have been used to store gold and jewels.

At 2kms apart is the Ramappa Lake. Was set up again during Kakatiya rule, serves the purpose of providing water to thousands of hectares of land around that place. Another good thing about the lake is: all the tanks around that place have a means of moving excess waters in to Ramappa lake. There is a lot more to write about these two places and the other temples between these two.

Moving on, there is another wonderful place called Laknavaram, which is a naturally formed lake between the hills. This is almost 8 to 10 times larger than the Ramappa tank itself and is the largest lake in the surrounding areas. One has to travel through the forest, a bit ghat road to reach the other side of one hill to see the lake. It has been gaining tourist acclaim of late, and the government also looks like working towards making the visitor's time more memorable. There are couple of islands in the lake, and a rope bridge was constructed to help people walk unto that island. Other plans like setting up a restaurant have been in vogue.On the whole, this is one must visit place if somebody visits Ramappa. As for me, I visit this every Christmas as this is just a stone throw away(not literally) from my home.

TRAVEL GUIDE:
Ramappa is located near Mulugu, one of the towns in Warangal which existed from ages. Mulugu is 47kms from Warangal, and Ramappa is a further 11kms. Both Ramappa and Laknavaram are on the same side of Mulugu, the road to reach them spilts after 5 kms from Mulugu. So, after traveling 5kms from Mulugu, taking left would take you to Ramappa which is 6kms from there, and going straight will lead to Laknavaram which is 17 kms from that point. You would have to travel 10kms straight, take a right turn and travel 7 kms for Laknavaram. Make sure you ask the passers-by for information. Happy visiting.

Newer set of posts coming soon

Hi readers,
This is after long time that I get to do something about my blog. There are varied subjects to write on, and I believed putting them all at one place makes a big mess. Now that I learnt we have to live with this limitation of having all kinds of blogs at one place, the saving grace that one could have tags to get specific kinds of posts, I've decided against my original thought of having separate blogs for each topic. That would have been good, but then let me reduce the different kinds to categories like personal, technical, political, etc,. That said, soon you should a flurry of posts. I'd make them to entertain you to the maximum with pictures and such stuff.. Happy blogging!

25th Birthday!!!!

25th Birthday!!!!!

25th birthday! a day when you must have a makeshift in your thinking... confused? let me begin all the way from schooling.

When you were a child, you never had to worry about anything you need. There were people designated to give you all you need.

you never had to take pain, even the smallest of your worries was taken by your parents..

all you were left with is JOY. You had time for play and all the happiness. Though you would have been pained to study,

you definitely had time for all silly things..

After the joyous school days end, the college days begin.. for most of us, those days would pass by in a jiffy studying for the entrace.. but surely,

they would have given you enough time for pranks and play... for some these would be memorable days.

In college you had nobody to guard u too much.. at the same time you wouldnt have parents to take all pain; or rather

you would be belittled for having to tell all your 'umimportant' things. So, you take up your own problems, and solve others' too.

For an average Indian, life's struggle begins in graduation. Though graduation days are almost the same as the college days and even

more happier most of the times, they start

leading you towards some direction in your career. Graduation also has much time to make friends/enemies/crushes for life.

Joy in graduation is limited not in terms of the amount of Joy you would experience but in terms of economy.

You wouldnt have all the money in the earth to do things you would have done have you had enough of it. No regrets here too as

no amount of money would make you satisfy. But, it's true that you wont have enough money.

Once graduation is done, real struggle in life begins. But life's strange. For some, it comes very easy, but for some it pains like hell.

You would have struggled to find a job for sure...

This is the time when you find handful of money and would have nobody to control how you spend it.

You could do all the things on earth... The golden days for anybody are these....

By now you would have been 23 years old or 24 ... Lucky you if you had found your job in 22 or 21. If so, you would 

have had 2-3 great years of unlimited joy!..

Let's come to the actual point for today.. the 25th birthday!

As years turn one by one, your soul would want for more joy but unknowingly your age creeps...

You would have felt really happy when you turned 21... even more when u did turn 22.. and yeah also on 23rd birthday!

Once your 24th birthday comes, you will learn from your parents about making you more responsible (and all that crap)

But, it's easy to procrastinate your parents wish when you are 24.

Though your age grows from a number to a higher number, your soul would remain the same. It's still the young soul, which asks for more joy.

And once you are 25, you begin thinking that you would have to take up responsibility sooner or later... You will see people

around you taking it up, and how much ever you deny it, you would still think it must come to pass.

You never know when that time comes, but you know it would come definitely. And this is the greatest enemy of man's happiness.

Anticipating something which would happen sometime in near future, and in doing so losing the happiness you now have.

This is the time when people around you start treating you more elder guy (now that you are 25), and you listen more often 

from your parents that you have to tie knot.

It's not defined that life after marriage should be happy. It could be either way.. but it would definitely be occupying.

Most of the guys wouldnt be prepared for that, but one cant help putting this off for long.

SO THIS IS THE TIME WHEN YOU MUST THINK AND TRANSIT YOURSELF INTO AN ELDER GUY. YOU WOULDNT LIKE TO DO IT. EVERYBODY IS 

HAPPY BEING YOUNGER. BUT YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THE ELDERNESS GRACEFULLY. YOU GOT TO SHIFT GEARS AND SLOW DOWN.

So, 25th birthday would be the most worrying birthdays when one has to give up youth and embrace the truth that he grew.

Never know how life comes to you, you have to make it happy and be happy too...

Intertia -- Law that holds in our lives as well

Hmmm, here again there's something which is as strange as nostalgia. Law of intertia, suprisingly, holds true in human lives too. As it applies for bodies at rest and those in motion, it applies equally well for humans living at a place. I had to face this recently when I had to move out of my home city. At the outset, it doesn't make any difference until you start leaving or until you leave. For me, as the time to depart was approaching, I was gradually getting unsettled. So, by the time I had to step in Bangalore, this feeling was so heavy that I was thinking it would have been great if all my travel was a dream. I felt like running back home, and not go out again. I still feel that I came out of the city for an outing and have not relocated.

I guess that happens again once I depart this city, which is not in near future. But, life's so strange that you have to experience such things. Nevertheless, it's those things which add variety and color to life; which bring us fond memories when we retrospect...

Adieu

My friend I'm nuts
As I recall the day you departed
The fresh breeze that evening brought
Drying my tears before they oozed out

Wretched was my life
jammed up with futile work
Which fenced me from coming to station
to get a last glimpse of you dear

parting was tough, but inevitable.
My heart breaks, yet gods wouldn't stop time.
I console myself with the memories we share
as we find our own ways of living.

The time doesn't come back
this truth makes me gloomy
yet I wish it gets back
When we all live those moments


Now I await the great day
When I get a slight chance
To realize my feelings and hope
And lavish my time with you


That reminds me of great departure
When again we are crushed
As we part ways in search of living
Only hoping for days to come back

Nostalgia

I'd love to write pages and pages about this particular feeling. Nostalgia is one such feeling you would feel when you depart somebody or recall somebody after missing them or the strange feeling which pains you when you come across places you've been very dear with in the past, while listening to your once favorite music, and what not! One can be nostalgic in every way.

Nostalgia for me is as sweet a pain as love, though I haven't experienced so called 'love'. It's awful to undergo nostalgia although you would admit you still do not want to do away with that. One such feeling which takes you back to your past and makes you relish those thoughts. Though the days become old, the memories stay still afresh.

In this nostalgia I'd like to write about a few favorite tracks of mine which would make my heart throbbing. It was the time I joined a college for my graduation. I lived with my friends in a rusty place. Then was released a movie which went on to become a biggest hit of that year. Those days you would invariably find that music being played in everybody's rooms, in every commercial space and in every auto. Though that music hasn't impressed me as it had a few others, it was a fresh music to listen to. I'd pay heed to those songs if not very keenly. And lately, I came across somebody playing that music. The feeling which I underwent was terrible. I couldn't think of anything else, for sometime my heart's beat went awry. Though I haven't enjoyed the music very well in the old days, but the music has brought along the memories with that. Those good old times flashed across my mind so fresh that I had regretted for missing those days.

All I'd like to say is, nostalgia might not be directly related to the things which had happened sometimes ago in our lives. It could be something else, could be something which we would not like. But those things always bring us fond memories. And those memories are with us forever.

Memories

To begin blogging is a great feeling. So, I'd like to begin saying: "Moments pass away, only memories remain. And it's those memories which keep us alive and human".